just let love....

2006-09-17T03:32:00.000-07:00

Deadly x games

Its so sad that some guys become more lovable because he saw, in hindsight, how he missed the sense of having a girlfriend and it sad that hes playing seadly games just to try to win you back. Like looking back at his life and saw a beautiful garden he had left behind. It is corrupt and deceitful of him to mess us your life.
Having a lot of control to your job and your life using a lot of his influences... HAHA you will be surely a woman ran, to escape a miserable life. Measure for measure keeping step with this intruder who seems to a candidate for canonization of your life. He will tear you in pieces.
If he is just playing a game, this charade wont last and he will revert to this old creepy self. Hell then became the most disparaged person in the side of the universe sooner or later.
If he is intent on reclaiming you as a girlfriend, only time and events will tell you if you believe him the second time around.
Are you just trying to stand there without a fight? he had all the chances in the world to prove his worth, so why now? Coz' you have one serious guy willing to sacrifice and take care of you? Coz' you found one loving person worth your love and care? and after he found out that scenario he will be the best in the planet. Oh hell no lets just see who carck first.

2006-09-17T02:52:00.000-07:00

The whole new Different level...

Remember how we met? on our previous entries? some say its not ideal for a girl like me to meet a guyin crowded places like bars, hangout places, etc.. because you can't spot a guy that they will consider a "good catch" BUT I PROVED THEM WRONG.

If its your destiny then its your way to be. Remember how he turned out great? how he blooms form thin guy to body built, from a bum to a marketing grad? Everythings changing right. and he is definitely a good catch!!!

Remember how we started out all those fued months, adjustments, getting to know stage? to those left out beans and open up beans thingy, and whta about the Singapore-Malaysia issue about the 3 years stuff our friends usually tease about. From hanging out with frio animalia pals down to having different world stage. the superb closeness, sweetness, modeliing goc stuffs. And after a year what surprise you. Were getting stonger and stronger and our love bound was great and whats more were having a lot of plans thats really something hehehhe and watch out how we strive to completes our goals ofcors with pictures juts bear with us and be updated....

the Plaza IbbaRa event.

2006-09-17T02:44:00.000-07:00

the Plaza IbbaRa event.

Last August 16, 06 we with Edmars Cousin Marivhic held our way in Plaza Ibara, Timog for Passion for Fashion, Manila fashion week goc. With Smart casual attire and wih our best selves we have a ramp there. Its been a great bonding momment for us. how funny how we get there. wo rode o pedicab and some of our friends saw us and give us a big laughs heheheh.. sana nagtaxi nalang daw kami hehehe * hey we dont have any idea on that place* hahaha But it was a superb experience.. We end up having photoshoots on the grounds and in the cr and even on swings heheh its real fun... hope theres always next time

red letter day celebration

2006-09-17T02:33:00.000-07:00

Vodka hmmmM....

oppsssie!!! can I skip on this please!!!!!! (laughs)

2006-08-26T23:18:00.000-07:00

its been a great day... just like having fun under the sun... pero few months from now, I will suffer from a superb illness do i still experience the same life like before??? maybe its my time bu im ready... grea things happen for a reason....

2006-08-23T06:28:00.000-07:00

dear heart,

bhaby i just wanna say this...

ur the greatest thing that happen to me.

Thanks ha coz I found u. I already foundan answer to my question..

of what is my essense here..

you may not believe me but ..

Im living coz of you,

maybe lets just say im here coz il b the 1who will care for you

I will be the man whul let and erase all the

hurt and sorrows of the past

I admist that im not perfrect but i wanna be perfect for you

i dont think of hurting you someday

but instead thingkin of making you happy

thanks for letting me love you...

nothing can broke this rel we had and i disregard destiny coz for me ur d1 im looking for.

u tawt me how to live happy

if not for yor love i will never found a real love at all

its me.. ur man

2006-08-23T06:26:00.000-07:00

2006-08-23T06:24:00.000-07:00

not really my expectation

2006-06-28T20:04:00.000-07:00

I did not expect that feelin' will go deep... That love will never be this sweet... That wanting you will just my mere fantasy... That havin' you for long wont turn real... But here you are now and still this relationship stitches us together... I want to thanks you for the time you let me kiss you... For the time you shead with me ... For stayin. I just wana asure you this. I will never hurt yah... ILL NEVER GONNA LEAVE YOU.

2006-04-19T03:34:00.000-07:00

in life we dont knoe wt wud hapen nxt.. we dont knoe f d love we have now will be permanent.. but f our rel s such in d said case of life- dnt u wori.. dont even be afraid. Coz il b battling against tym nd uncertainty. I wil win u back-my love wil nver cease..havin u foe a long tym s owes bin wat I wanted.. things may perish. Time may end. but my love will last-- it wont torn apart i love u my lady fiancee-- dats forever

2006-04-10T06:37:00.000-07:00

in life thers always begining and theres always an end. but if in my life theres something I dont want to end. That is the relationship I have with you. End may there be waiting but I'll let myself battle against it --- just to win you forever. Having you for the rest of my life is always been my fancy and loving you forever is then my reality. Love you so much my lady fiancee...

2006-04-02T23:27:00.000-07:00

If there times in my life that I cant forget ,that is the time when I met you. The time when you first said "u love me".The time I first kiss your lips and hug your body, the time we make love. And if theres a woman who's last in my heart. Its my beautiful gurl- my lady fiancee- my bhabywife! Its Razell! And if you going to ask how long will I stay? Ill stare at your face, hold your hand and hug you tight -- I'll whisper "I'll be yours forever" then I'll kiss your lips till we make love...

ezt28: The Red Letter Day.

2006-03-28T02:10:00.000-08:00

EZT28: Red LettEr DAy

The twenty eight of August was the red letter day when a guy named Edmar came into my life,"Lets make this official" those words I uttered starts it all. I'm now in a relationship. "hey lets make this a serious"I said again. But I'm still not getting any reaction, hey what's wrong with this guy? My mind ask!!! There was a long pause."uh yeah! Got It Thanks!, he said. Ouch! After all these dating days that was the only words he said!! duh!! Ok fineThat's him accept it. He's now my boyfriend anyways. Then we had a dance, just a great couple enjoying the beat of discomusic and suddenly got surprised this guy was staring on my lips. Oh! !He will going to kiss me? here, in front of thecrowd? those were the questionsHe grasp my lips and kiss me as if he was saying "who cares this girl is mine"whoosh! that kiss was nice and he kissed me again. I replied and the night was awesome. After few days of exchanging text SMS and calls, were still in "getting to know" stage.I got myself amazed because he asked lot of questions that sometimes I don't even know the answer. "this guy is different "hmm what's next ?? having five hour phone calls. This is really something.Its Saturday gimmick nights again when me and my friends invite him out. He agreed and then we went.At Onions bar, Libis, I got myself sweet with this guy beside me. I started hugging him and in a glance whoosh!I find him cute and such a gentleman. There's a nagging question in my mind. "do I love this guy?","How long this relationship will goanna be? Its for me to find out.Were having a nice chat. Jokes and I found myself enjoying his company. That was a nice start I said.I'll make sure this will going to last long swear! Then we went on dancing. With great beat, harlem movesand creepwalk combined and in instant were rose of the crowd. People staring our dance moves ! it's amazing we werereceiving compliments and when we got tired were having our chat once again with couple of beers in hand A few moments after my friend grab me up to the dance floor for a dance.And that night there's a lot of cute guys around. I was busy having a glimpse of them while dancingthat I haven't notice that there was a guy in red shirt dancing behind me and I saw Edmar from a far givingme one damn jealous look! Skeptical I was and said is that for real? Is that guy really jealous?After we dance we went back to our table and I found him sleeping in the corner. I stared at him once more.And I love his eyes, nose and height he's like an angel sleeping peacefully but I know he's slight drunk.We had a fun chat till dawn. I wonder if what he's showing me is true but after that nightI started missing him to the point that I wanted to be with him always .He's sweet words cheer up my days and he made me so happy.

ezt28: how emotions went on

2006-03-24T02:52:00.000-08:00

We sometimes see the people who cares us differently.
We wander around searching the person who will make us happy. Through the pain of the past keep shining us and it seems
like shadows who always follows wherever we may go. Indeed, a much greater person will appear from nowhere,
without even noticing or expecting it.

Sometimes isn't quite right about my life, I guess, I couldn't even expecting it that afar from vanity there
was something that would came out, maybe I can justify Its a reason why I still feel the
happiness after that heartache, why I should still enter to the path of new love, why I should trash off everything
and just let love.

I don't expect that the conversation started on that student hangout will give a road to this I have now.
Uh yeah!....She didn't said "you've got to be kidding me" instead she ride on that water tripping joke and laugh.

Asking someone's name you don't know yet, is not really bad, or maybe perceived isn't that crazy.
But the most craziest thing is that, when the person you've met and exchanged with a conversation is
the same person who would ask " have I met you before?", "Do I know you?", "who are you?" ha-ha!
That person will surely got mad and even erase your digits perhaps.

Well, That is how the story went. But it doesn't end up right there. One day while I am at gym,
There this girl phone me, without hesitations I grab my phone and answer it. The voice came over the phone and I was shocked!
She, the girl I've met pronounced my name correctly. I said " hi there who are you?, but because
I'm not yet finished at my gym routines I end up the call and said "call me later'.

An hour after the first call rang and I was astonished the same voice came up from the phone.
The more or less three hour call became my night routine later I started missing her and the craziest talks.
I seems bursting out my infectious grin every time I hear her voice.

Soon I'm always longing for her and it became terrible when I found myself missing that small cute girl.
We agree to see each other that Friday. The disco and rnb beat rumored at that six sided student hangout and aroma
of beer can smell around.
Before going to their table I saw my friend Raymond moving around,
then I asked him to go with me. Elated to see her, we went to their table . There were two girls seated but
wait I got myself in confusion with the third one (seems like gay ha-ha LOL) I sat beside Rayana,
She's Damn suki-look-alike, a chinita girl with curly hair (which later I found out all natural)
I speak in un shy manner and said "hi!", she replied "hello". The first ten minutes seems like they are shy on us,
so I broke up the silence and did ask " so what? Are we goanna drink or what? They said "sure"
I ordered pitcher of beer and English-prone conversation rules. Darkness almost fall when we decided to go home.
That afternoon I wore conio red swastica shirt and a jacket.
Friday became our meeting day and to see her did not fall into remission.
there were three Fridays that went off until unexpected thins emerge.

The first set up

The girl ask me if I can go with her. She badly needed audience (I later found out that she's working at abs-cbn)
See in myself a shy typo I refuse to go with her but set up provoked, she said " pag di ka pumunta magkalimutan na"
what a silly idea, I was shocked and my cadence beats faster. What a harsh word I said. I decided to go with her and
I cant believe she's hugging me and holding my hands as if were lovers but the fact is -- were just friends.
I was shrugged and the indictment seems I am falling in that for letter word (which starts at L and ends with E)

At car hug and sweet way of caring run still. And before she dropped me off GRRRRR!!!
I found out this " I miss her, miss that moment".

At Malate: The Late Reaction

I'm at home taking rest when my cell phone beeps I read the text message. It says "can you go with me?
well goanna go to Malate". I refuse because I don't have money but still she insist " its my treat don't you worry".

The next thing I did. I fix myself I wore black t-shirt and went there to meet her.
We went to Malate, I remember the name of the bar Common Ground. The disco lights on and disco music lure over the place.
She breaks my silence when she stared at me and said "lets make this official".
That was flabbergasted! Wow! Don't know what to say. IM still in my late reaction but without hesitation I said "
Uh yeah! got it thanks. We dance together. The place was crowded suddenly she got confuse when I grasp her
lips and kiss her in the middle of the crowd. I don't know if she likes the kiss but this went on my mind "this girl is mine".

the story doesn't end right there and I am very sure another version of write ups but that suki- look- alike
will come out. by the way date of love 28 Aug. 2005 Tsk!! tsk!! tsk!!

2006-03-07T22:49:00.000-08:00

you can't have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time....

2006-03-05T04:05:00.000-08:00

his heart goes on strike

On the celebration of our 6th month aniversary. He is still demanding for change. And despite the fact that our country is under National emergency, his heart goes on strike!!!

Yeah he's complaining from this...that...and suffering from this... and that... I did cry inside upon hearing those ive hurt my guy definitely. He did some mistakes but still its my fault

And as I look inside his heart. I saw the torture and pain hidden by genuine love his giving me. And maybe as time goes by I will see his heart rally in Edsa Sgrine together with all his body organs with big flash cards and banner signs saying "get out of my life" and I being mean and miss injustice declare martial law due to the fact that I need him. Oh god what the hell Am I writing here!

On that day we did swear to work everything out.Not only for him but it will benefit us both. I want to say my apology for all those silly things ive made. my love for him is getting sweeter everyday and I will be a mess losing him. But if It is, nothing certain in this world, I just accept that and treasure great memories that our love given us.

2006-03-03T00:42:00.000-08:00

il mio ragazzo

Che può dico del mio individuo. È giusto che l'adoro l'ama e capisce molto che è molto diverso dagli altri... ed a volte lei può dire "la sono per reale?" io causa il havent immagina Dio darà un individuo cosí unico che amerebbe me cosí molto. È ancora matured molto forte e sarà il migliore che può essere un giorno.

Un individuo che ha il potenziale pieno e molto efficiente.. io il havent immagina saremo come questo.. per quanto so che l'amo lo xo molto e ciò sarebbe per sempre. Non lo partirò mai causa sarò un inferno vivente con fuori da lui.. L'Im guarda inoltra per averlo per e è tanto tempo la sua amica migliore mai..

20 days to disaster ( when catastrophe strikes)

2006-02-24T05:54:00.000-08:00

The hour of nonstop action is on the way! Then suddenly the scream blared all over the city square, and the camera zooms in on a close-up of twin tower. People glares their naked eyes straight into the building while plane crashing down toward it (making the twin tower stumble). The whole establishment erupted, and thousands of people died while others hurts. And then, a very matter of fact people viewed on what happen is this you do not know when catastrophe strikes, that's terrible.

A certain ring of truth is that those victims love ones astounded with what happen. A nerve-tweaking catastrophe which makes their heart moaned in despair. Surely 20-days before the disaster happens still paving at their way. But 20 seconds after that catastrophe strikes, their love ones bursting out with tears and sadness.

He is Edmar, a 21 year old guy, who loves his gf very much. A very sweet and honest boyfriend that do not dare to hurt his girl and that he treat his beau as fiancee, which later counting on the time 20 days near(his gf's flight). "What will be the indicament of this" he asked himself. Oh! My God, I cant take this to happen" he added.

He still remember one night (that was Dec 14,2005) @ exactly 1:43am he got out surprised when his gf text her it says there --"you can be the icon that you want someday, at first may rejection but it open some door for improvement. Ganun lang naman un eh. When your saying, your shy kasi ganito, ganyan, it hurts me kasi I know you naman eh. WHO NIDS THOSE THINGS BHE? Haay I know you'll be the best that you can be keep up!" -- that text msgs dazed and captivated him " She's so sweet, whats wrong with her" he asked himself.

The next morning he meet his girlfriend with a glimpse of smile at his face. She -her- little-cute girl is waiting and seated near her pals . The girl looks gorgeous with that nice dress and long curly hair. As their casual routines thay have their talks and smile. Suddenly, the most surprising thing happened. The girl was crying and Ed mind got puzzled. He prickles thought of his girl, trying to figure out if he guessed the right reason. Slouched in his chair, propped against his elbow, he stare at his gf's eyes the tears running down to her cheeks . He broke the silence and ask "Baby whats the matter?" It tooka couple of minutes before his gf unfolded the real reason." I love you and I will surely be missing you. I will be leaving this 20th of January for a modeling offer at Singapore". The rhythm of his heart is beating too fast, making him freze in terror indeed turning him vulnerable. Then suddenly the sadness bounds his way. Oh my God!, This cant be" he said. He didn't notice that his tears starting to weep and that he frown. It was really almost with reluctant of not letting his girl fly to the said place. "why did you let this thing happen?, why did you let me fall in love with you if you'll just leave me after? He asked again. The 2 questions makes his gf hug him tight. "It was been my dream since last year, I tried to hold on but my mom all all those people surrounds mere insisting that this is it.(my opportunity to bet a name in the field) don't worry that will only takes 3 months and I swear nothin will gonna change." the girl said. "But how can I leave without you?. The guy asked again his eyes are now turning red because of that tears trying to skip there.

Although he is sad, he did make his gf laugh the moment their heading home. " I must stick to her words, I know she'll be coming back" he said to his mind.

He pretend that he can cope up with the situation but as the time passes by, the sadness he felt is increasiing. He cant even sleep, there were aslo times that he did not go to school. " Oh God This is terrible! I cant take this" he uttered. Soon the happy days turns melodramic mea culpa to him. He's always sad, he also forgot to laugh (and even how to spell that word). There were sleepless nights in which his mind and heart moaned to total despair.

he just throw back some beers for his sadness to be lessen. He can't live without his gf, thats the real thing. But he cant do nothing his gf wants to go there.

It was around 9:45 am, 15 minutes before his gf step-on to that plane. They let their self hug each other for the remaining minutes. Again, the floor spotted by their tears " bhaby take care there ok, I will wait for your call. the guy said. "yeah you too tc. his gf replied. It was already 10 am the girl need to go. " bye" that is the last word that the guy heard. The plane was already flying to the air, But at the airport the guy still standing, his tears weeping still.He can't believe that his gf is not with him anymore. The girl left him for a modelling job in Singapore.

The week after the 20-th of January is still fine, But later the call and email his receiving was lessen. Soon the guy always cry and that a bottle of beer turn as his companion. He aslo dropped his subjects, and at his room he stare to his gf's pictures all day. Two weeks after his sister found the guy body dead. He died in despair. He kill himself. Maybe he prefer to die than to live without the girl he draw and offer the plan.

The thing that the guy did is such foolishness and not advisable. But there are some guy like Ed who prefer to end up their despair by killing theirself. Who prefer to die than experiencing the hurt and sadness. Who believe that in love their is also catastrophe, and when it strikes it will mess thier life and turn disaster to him

*ezt28

I'll never leave....

2006-02-22T01:45:00.000-08:00

I'll Never Leave

Please don't be scared! I will never leave! I aint goin nowhere! What brings you that silly idea anyways??? ShhHHHH..... I'll be Damned if I gonna Let this bullcrap take away from you. Besides where in this long way already. Oh boy!!! I will be right here by your side. So shut up!! I don't want you to say that again. Cause I vow to give my all. So dry your weappy eyes cause on that word I stand tall although IM only 5'4" just kiddin... No need to doubt this boy..For this is our long long ride journey And I knew we will make it being without you sound absurd!
I will never leave...
I will never leave...
I will never leave...

coffee break

2006-02-22T01:40:00.000-08:00

I'm here in frio mix again. Indulging myself with coffee. Its fun and relaxing time having chitchat with my new friends. they make me realize how life is worth living and how I found joy with its simpliest forms. In this past week I learned that I dont have to please everybody to accept me Instead live my life with my own unique personality and treasure all that I have. I see all the smiles of my friends that brighten up my day and happily content with this couple of hours coffee break.

Ezt28:flicks

2006-02-22T01:20:00.000-08:00

EzT FLICKS

it was another deadly blow that directly hit its mark straight to my heart upon hearing those words I began considering a new path of my life.
I went home with a lowly heart, no tears, no emotions, no nothing at all. I guess most of us do our crying in private.
I've accepted long before our red letter day that this would end. Nothing certain in this world I can deal with that. But the thing I could not bear is to see this someone close to my heart suffer and hold this relationship for long.
My heart bleeds when he endured countless sleepless nights because of too much anxiety and ate three stress strong meals everyday. I cant deny that sometimes I fail his expectations and I cant ride on to his jokes. But word scratch my heart to hell. I wish I didn't heard that I wish he didn't said at all.
Although he said his apology, still there's something in me that is in pieces. But I must stay strong. A storm just hit us and I must face the light that brought about by the new day with vigor and enthusiasm with hope and faith. And because I want this relationship to last I must keep on fighting and dream.

his dreams

2006-02-22T01:17:00.001-08:00

His dreams

his dreams and motivation inspires me. I thought before that he was having a low self esteem and that he was too old to believe in magic and dreams coming true! But I was wrong. Who says that Santa ain't coming no more? That there are no fairies, and kings and queens and a frog turning into a handsome prince? He believe hard enough and realize that there are no such thing as dreams. everything is real. that if you strive hard you'll achieve it and keeping his dreams alive makes his love him even more....

Rayana first observation

2006-02-22T01:15:00.001-08:00

He's a vain prince for me. I haven't seen a guy who can stare at himself in front of the mirror the whole day! whew! Sometimes he annoys me. But I find him cute anyways. He stand 5'9 and blessed with expressive eyes and nose ad dressed very simple yet cool an handsome guy for me.
I see him serious and different from my past relationships. He's a great companion, nice, sweet and caring like any other normal guys will do to her girlfriend. And what I love most is that everytime I'm mad he's much sweeter and much loving giving me the feeling of security and that he loves me so much.
I was living in diet cokes and sneaker bars when I met him. I never knew that he would be my boyfriend because 1) I never see myself fall in love again (coz you see I just came from a heartache) 2) I was busy with my schedule to add up someone who demands time. 3) I find him cute but he always down himself seems like he's having a low self esteem and lastly 4) he was tall, but so thin definitely not my type. unfortunately we became lovers. unfortunate for him to find an unschooled bum who was very aloof and into night life, and fortunate for me to find such great loving man... just kidding!!!!...

2006-02-20T23:43:00.001-08:00

Open letter to SAnta

Dear Santa,
I know that your first reaction to this letter would be that of surprise, if not outright annoyance. I mean, really, why would a 20-year old unschooledlass like me write a letter addressed to Mr. Ho-Ho-Ho himself? To ask for toys and candies? You are probably thinking that something is wrong with me. I can almost hear you say “Ho-ho-ho, I only work for kids, young lady.” I must admit though that I am also clueless as to why I am writing this letter to you. This might be a symptom of a repressed childhood, unconsciously fashioned during my formative years when I was probably the only kid in our neighborhood who did not believe in you. Yes Mr. Santa, meeting you and receiving something from you were never my fancy as a child. I was not one of those who would hang stockings on Christmas eve, desperately hoping to find toys and other goodies inside it the morning after. To be honest, I even thought that you were scary, especially with all that hair in your face. But hey, that is not the issue right now. I am writing you this letter, and that is what matters, right? Santa, it is an open secret that you are considered all over the world as an icon of generosity. Everyone knows that (except the Scrooges out there). However, I can’t help but think that your generosity depends on a people’s race and color. I mean, your kindness is felt only in countries that have a “white Christmas.” It seems that you never bothered to visit our humble country. But even if it is true that you have never had an opportunity to fly over our polluted skies, I would still understand you. There are simply many obstacles that would hinder you from carrying out your noble deeds here in the Philippines. I mean, you could not squeeze and slither down chimneys simply because we don’t have those here in our Third World tropical country. And you could not and could never enter through our doors, for they are double-locked and padlocked, not to mention a discreet alarm system waiting to go berserk the moment an unauthorized entry is made. Please understand that here in the Philippines, security is something that we put a premium on. If you have robbers and akyat bahays who are smarter and faster than our local police who only have their bulging bellies as their common denominator, then definitely, you could not blame us. Moreover, generosity is a trait that is not really appreciated here in the Philippines. Try handing out all those stuff in public and you will surely find your picture in one of our “reliable” tabloids on the following day, and suddenly, everybody suspects that you are planning to run for mayor or congressman or whatnot. See? Also, even if you are able to carry out your deeds here in our country, nobody would care, believe me. Your kindness would simply be a passing moment that would soon be forgotten. We Filipinos easily forget. Well, I know that that is none of your concern, but Santa, please understand that here in the Philippines, those who are rich in words, even if they are poorer in action, merit the confidence and approval of the people. You don’t have to look far, just look at our politicians and you’ll know what I am talking about. And that is where you are impressive Santa. If my memory serves me right, aside from your three-syllable laugh, the only words that emanate from your mouth are “Merry Christmas.” You are really not fond of words, I can sense that, and yet, you are able to accomplish your task year in and year out with great efficiency. I mean, was there ever a Christmas when you failed to make a delivery? I could not think of one. Forgive me Santa but sometimes, I could not help but think that you are the person this country is looking for because you are a guru in the art of walking the talk. You have mastered the practice of yakking less but producing more. Yes, we badly need someone like you here. Now why am I really writing this letter? As I’ve said, I do not know. Some would say that it is improper for me to write you this letter because I am too old for gifts. However Santa, I beg to disagree. That will have to be qualified. I am old for “fun” gifts such as toys and the like, but I am never too old for practical gifts like…uhm…a Ford Expedition?